don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
