I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
