just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
