i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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