Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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