I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
