No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Randomize
