He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
