i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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