Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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