so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
did i just pee glitter
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize