I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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