She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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