I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
