playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
