Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
