wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
