She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
