I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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