I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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