Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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