and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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