The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
