Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
