I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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