We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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