what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
