If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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