Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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