I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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