Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
