do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
