is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
