After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
