To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
