wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
