When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This house was built for laser tag.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
