don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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