After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
