thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
