meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
