ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
