K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
