ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
