Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
