batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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