They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
