its not stalking. its research.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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