Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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