using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
