I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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