Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.

Fav 13 1114 5469
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(518): View more from New York

i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

What's the big deal? you guys fuck

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on

(778): View more from British Columbia

SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me

Fav 2 1114 465
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(562): View more from California

I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out

(310): View more from California

What a way to honor the dead

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(217): View more from Illinois

I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”

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