her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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