loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
