thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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