Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
