Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
