Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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