Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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