i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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