What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
