Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
