just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
