At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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