I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize