we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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