im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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