I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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